PLAYS
File Subtitle
Ron Simonian adapts his ["their" is confusing] original style and unique perspective to every project he works on - striving to create unforgettable screenplays that are thought-provoking and entertaining to all audiences.
NEXT OF KIN
Cast: 5
Genre: Comedy, Dark comedy, Drama
Keyword: death, family, adult child with aging parent, religion
NEXT OF KIN tells the story of three squabbling siblings who begrudgingly head home to throw their mother a surprise birthday party, only to discover that she's been dead for three years. They have all taken care of her, but never communicated with her. Her electricity still works, but her heart doesn’t. The search for lost innocence and parental love fuel the fire of Next Of Kin.
Production History: Staged Reading: Rockhurst University - Kansas City, MO - 1999 NNPN Showcase: Stanford University Theatre - Stanford, CA - 2005 Wold Premiere: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2006
TRIGGER HAPPY
Cast: 2
Genre: Comedy, Dark comedy, Drama, political
Keyword: political correctness, Academia, college, black lives matter, Muslim, white privilege, feminism, trigger warning, safe rooms, hate speech
The battle over political correctness in academia has reached the boiling point. Two professors, one liberal, the other conservative, plead their cases to each other in hopes of saving their careers, and their friendship. TRIGGER HAPPY represents a slice of the millennial revolution and the enforcement of a debatable set of guidelines that have thrust these topics into the national spotlight. TRIGGER HAPPY presents the debate with each side equally represented. From Transgender Issues to Racism - Trigger Warnings to Feminism - Xenophobia to Safe Rooms, TRIGGER HAPPY confronts it all, as it begs "One Nation Divisible" to come together and debate.
With an unparalleled talent for writing, every story that Ron Simonian creates seems to come alive right off the page. Revolution [Why does this say "Rovolution" when the play being discussed is TRIGGER HAPPY?] is no exception, with memorable characters, a well-paced plot, and several storylines that keep the audience on the edge of their seats until the final line.
Production History: Staged Reading: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2017 World Premiere: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2017
GOOD BEHAVIOR
Cast: 5
Genre: Comedy, Dark comedy, Romantic comedy
Keyword: gay, bisexuality, prison, gay straight relationships, marriage, friendship, loneliness, betrayal
Carol felt abandoned by her married friends due to her being single. However, today is the day that she gets to introduce her new husband Barry to her best friends, Steve and Joan. She courted her new husband by visiting him while he was in prison. He's now a free man with a strong libido and an interesting past. Barry's former cellmate and prison husband, Marco, has tracked him down. He's a jilted lover with no interest in moving on. He has come to claim his man. This is a story about LOVE, MARRIAGE and PRISON SEX
Creative, innovative, and full of excitement, Ron Simonian hits the mark with Rudolf [again, why is "Rudolph" here? The play is GOOD BEHAVIOR. It's confusing.]] - an instant classic. With scenes that are masterfully set up, and character developments that are both believable and surprising, Rudolf takes the reader on a journey of emotion and intrigue.
Production History: Workshopped: WCH Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1997 Workshopped: Club Menage - Kansas City, MO - 2008
AT THE FEET OF DOVES
Cast: 2
Genre: Comedy, Dark comedy, Drama
Keyword: gun violence, morality, PETA, female sexuality, homosexuality, murder, Camping, virginity
Two hit men of different ages and backgrounds are brought together for the first time on a job. Their personality clash leads them to a high stakes conversation about, life and philosophy, manners and morals, sexuality and Disneyland, and of course, vegetarianism. Along the way the two must find enough team mentality to bury a body in the woods.
Production History: Workshopped: American Heartland Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1994 World Premiere: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1996 Staged Reading: Pacific Repertory Theatre - Costa Mesa, CA - 1997 Seattle Premiere: Annex Theatre - Seattle, WA - 2010
THANATOS
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Ted and Sam, two Red Cross disaster workers, are in their hotel room after a day of counseling survivors at a roof cave-in. Ted is visibly upset by the finality of death at the disaster and wants to hash it out with Sam, who takes it in stride, sees death as a phase and is bent on a night out with a woman curiosity seeker whom he met at the site. He undergoes a number of startling changes that lead to a violent demise.
Production History: Workshopped: WBE Soundstage - Kansas City, MO - 1992 World Premiere : Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1993 Off-Broadway: Alice’s Fourth Floor - New York, NY - 1995 Chicago Premiere: National Pastime Theatre - Chicago, IL
1998 Published: Plays On Tape - 1998
BAGHEADS
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Passion and sex share so many similarities to food. We find ourselves starving for affection, or hungry for love. Eddie is a man with a lot of passion and a lot of voices in his head. His voices have taken physical form in the Bagheads. The Bagheads are two men in black suits with bags over their faces. They are Eddie’s inner throughs and motivations. Eddie’s marriage is falling apart, his professional life is in shambles, and the Bagheads are loving every minute of it. Eddie loves his wife but has drawn distant from her. She is starving for his touch…for his love…for his anything. From mouth-watering passion to the demons of our inner thoughts, Bagheads is a journey into the sweetest tasting fruit of all—the fruit of letting go and admitting who you really are.
Production History: Workshopped: WBE Soundstage - Kansas City, MO - 1992
World Premiere: Quality Hill Playhouse - Kansas City, MO 1995
ARMS AND LEGS
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The story of a serial killer who is maneuvered by TV and motion pictures into becoming a public idol pushes satire and absurdity to the extreme. The focus is on Bobby, who’s in his early 20s and holed up at home surrounded by police after admitting to 22 killings. Before Bobby can be taken away, Parker, a producer for Paramount, gains admission to the house by helicopter and signs Bobby to a picture deal. A flashback tells of Bobby’s birth to trashy parents who are vague about moral values. Seems Bobby is just a loving son who loves people — some of them so much that he wants, literally, to keep a part of them.
Production History: Developed At: Kansas City Repertory Theatre Playwright’s Stage - 1993 World Premiere: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1995
"The play scores as topical and timely, as well as outright funny." -Variety
ZONE 3
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What if all the conspiracy stories we ever heard were true? Did Elvis fake his death? What if you found out that there was a government agency that actually did all the things we always viewed as crazy? What if many famous people that we thought had died were really very much alive and kept in a government holding facility? What if the members of the top secret agency, ZONE 3, were really in charge of almost everything we see, hear and believe?
Production History: World Premiere: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1998
DESERT HOLIDAY
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One desperate woman. One toilet salesman. One naked cowboy, and a drifter collide 31 miles north of Reno. The search for love is a so-called "complicated highway,” and remember all highways lead to prom.
Production History: Workshopped: Kansas City Dance Studio - Kansas City, MO - 1993 Staged Reading: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1994 Staged Reading: Kansas City Repertory Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1995 Equity Showcase: WCH Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 1996 Community Theatre: Lawrence Community Theatre - Lawrence, KS - 1997 NNPN Showcase: InterAct Theatre Company - 2000 World Premiere: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2001
DESPERATE TIMES
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This play is about a couple of losers who try to grab themselves a piece of the American dream, but don't have the wherewithal to get there. Set in the 1970s, two buddies head out on a drug deal that could—and will —change their lives. An out of work garbage truck driver and a lounge singer in a shiny gold jumpsuit tackle the crime world as best as they can’t.
Production History: World Premiere: Off Center Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2010
THE SOUL COLLECTOR
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The end of the world is on the horizon and Lester Dupree has a plan for your salvation. Lester infuses his fanatical takes on the word of God with his very own brand of music. It's time to build your home in heaven, so bring an open mind and an open heart, but most importantly, bring your soul. Your salvation is moments away!
Production History: Staged Reading: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2011 World Premiere: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2012
CULTURAL CANNIBALS
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Theater today is striving to become more culturally diverse and inclusive. But what happens when marginalized groups are pitted against each other in the race for a piece of the theatrical pie? In Cultural Cannibals, former allies become mortal enemies in the pursuit of inclusion. It’s the story of a fictional regional theater in upstate New York and its passion for diversity at all costs, where we’ll soon learn that the road to hell is often paved with the blood of the marginalized.
Production History: Staged Reading: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2018 World Premiere: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2020
THE STING OF LOVE
Cast: 5
Genre: Comedy, Dark comedy, Political
Keyword: prostitution, police, male sexuality
One by one, johns busted in a prostitution sting are led onto a police bus. Each john is from a different background and state of mental health. The tension is high and the denial deep as these men explain the reasons they are there. We meet a manic depressive who is eight steps short of his 12th, a young man who is getting married in the morning, a lawyer who never pays for sex, a man who is comfortable enough in his skin that he is proud to be there, and an angry lesbian with a secret who can't believe the cop led her on. In the end, the true meaning of love is discovered.
Production History: Equity Showcase: Kansas City Repertory Theatre - 2008
HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW
Cast: 5
Genre: Comedy, Dark comedy, Drama, Farce, Political, Satire
Keyword: misogyny, feminism, gender bias, corporate greed, Hope, male privilege, loneliness
The corporate view of the creation of mankind. The struggles of building the utopia we know as Eden. The story's been told from a Biblical perspective, but this is the story of the process behind the journey that led to the world as we know it today. Why did Adam want Eve? What where the dinosaurs? How did vaginas change the course of HIStory?
Production History: Equity Showcase: Kansas City Repertory Theatre - 2009
LIQUID MORALITY
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A collection of four one-act plays that center on the deterioration of the human race. It all begins in the hopes of a pure future for all, but quickly highlights the de-evolution of our species. The four One Act titles are: HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW, AT THE FEET OF DOVES, THE STING OF LOVE and COMFORTABLE IN YOUR SKIN.
Production History: World Premier: The Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2008 Seattle Premiere: Annex Theatre - Seattle, WA - 2010
DECORATING HER CAGE
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Decorating Her Cage is the story of one woman’s battle against her own inner demons. April’s self loathing has allowed her to consider being victimized as a acceptable state of affairs. After years of therapy, she is kidnapped by her therapist’s son in an effort to give her a chance to fall in love with him. This is a story of enablers, sexism, and the strength many women need to fight objectification and oppression. Not all things are fair in love and war. April’s strength rises to the surface as her cage is rejected [ "her cage is rejected" is confusing - not sure what it means] and her self value is realized.
Production History: Staged Reading: The Living Room Theatre - 2017
THE MONUMENTAL MILLENNIAL
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Jason is suffering the effects of being divorced in his 40's. The dating world had moved on and left him behind. His best friend introduces him to the newest tool for finding love, "Social Media." His best friend has been using it to cheat on is wife with Millennials for years. Jason soon learns that diving into another generation's dating pool just might be the cure for letting go of the past. Or it might be the end of life as he knows it. It seems that dating an Open-Polly-Pansexual is different today than it was 20 years ago.
DEATH IN 3 TO 5 BUSINESS DAYS
Cast: 7
Genre: comedy, dark comedy
Keyword: death, family, grudge, Armenian Genocide
DEATH IN 3 TO 5 BUSINESS DAYS Tom's designs on a new man cave are put on hold to allow his dying mother to use it for hospice. Only she is not dying as quickly as predicted. This Armenian family struggles with guilt, depression and the power of grudges in this very dark comedy. Sometimes only death can save a family.
Production History: Staged Reading: Unicorn Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2015 Staged Reading: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2017
IT NEVER HAPPENED
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Set in a corporate office building, IT NEVER HAPPENED answers all of life's major questions. What is the meaning of life? What happens after we die? Does the fact that we know we are going to die, take the joy out of life? Or does it give life more meaning? Can you be fired for punching your boss in the face if you caught him sleeping with your wife? What do you do if you realize your pep-talk to a depressed friend might have motivated him to commit murder? Simple... Run damage control and pretend it never happened.
Production History: Staged Reading: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2017
A BULLET IN THE HEAD
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A gift from the grave gives Roy a chance to save he and his wife Tandy's single wide home. However, Roy still might be evicted from his empty marriage. Money might not buy happiness, but it does buy Tandy's love, and Roy is totally broke. BULLET IN THE MUD is a journey into the heart of betrayal, brotherhood and Star Wars action figures. The race is on for Roy to meet his financial deadline, before a former Operation Desert Storm veteran moves Roy's deadline to tonight.
Production History: Staged Reading: The Living Room Theatre - Kansas City, MO - 2017
GLOW
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The story of a woman in her 60s who has come to the realization that all of her success has not given her the fulfillment she had hoped it would. Her marriage is a joke, and her desire for passion couldn’t be higher. Sometimes we get everything we wanted, but don’t like what we got. Does building a new love life have an expiration date? Are we ever too old to start again? Yes. Of course we are. Deal with it.